I’m excited about our scripture writing this month and equally ashamed. As I was preparing for this subject, I realized that I have been guilty of every single one of these sins of the tongue. This will be an easy month of scripture writing since it is mostly one verse a day, but may not be as easy on our heart. If you are anything like me, it will be a reminder of many sins that we need to work on!
I will be sharing excerpts from the book several times during the month (maybe even each day!). I’d love to hear your input!
I’m excited about our scripture writing this month and equally ashamed. As I was preparing for this subject, I realized that I have been guilty of every single one of these sins of the tongue. This will be an easy month of scripture writing since it is mostly one verse a day, but may not be as easy on our heart. If you are anything like me, it will be a reminder of many sins that we need to work on!
Day 1 – Lying Tongue
“Lies make a shaky foundation for any relationship. Lying comes in four primary forms: deceitfulness, half-truths, exaggerations, and flattery. The word ‘integrity’ derives from ‘integer’, which is a mathematical term. An integer is a whole number as opposed to a fraction. When we walk in integrity, we tell the whole truth and not just a fraction or part of it. Deliver my soul, O LORD, from lying lips, and from a deceitful tongue. Have you been trusting God by telling the truth and leaving the consequences to Him, or do you need to join the psalmist in his prayer for deliverance?”
Day 2 – Flattering Tongue
“Most people who engage in this dishonest communication do so to gain favor.” (such as acceptance) “Engaging in flattery is clear evidence of one’s lack of faith in God’s ability to give him favor with other people. Favor is a fringe benefit of being in good standing with our Creator. There are many instances in the Bible of God giving His children favor with man – with no effort on their part. Consider that God gave Esther favor and the king chose her to be the queen of Persia. He gave Daniel favor with one of the king’s officers, who allowed him and his three friends to select their own diet rather than eat the non-kosher food of their captors. God gave Joseph favor in Egypt and he went from being a captive to a commander of all the country’s resources. These children of the Most High never had to resort to any form of self-effort in order to ingratiate themselves for gain or survival. Scripture is very clear on God’s plan for the flatterer, ‘The Lord shall cut off all flattering lips…’ (Psalm 12:3 kjv) Is flattery worth being cut off from the blessings of God?”
Day 3 – The Manipulating Tongue “
Manipulation is a crafty use of the tongue and a self-perpetuating vice. Once manipulators find that their craftiness helps them to achieve their objectives, they become proud of their ‘smooth operating’ skills. They will use all kinds of indirect tactics ranging from ‘guilt trips’ to portraying themselves as innocent, suffering victims of various circumstances. They may even start to enjoy their ability to influence others in such a manner. We never read of Jesus manipulating anybody. He always offered everyone a better way of life but accepted their decision to pursue another option even when it was not in their best interest. It would behoove us to emulate Him in this regard. Manipulation is deceptive and attempts to take away a person’s freewill choice. God’s children must not practice nor tolerate such behavior.” Extra verses for reference: Luke 20:22-23
Day 4 – The Hasty Tongue
“Do you sometimes offend others because you do not engage your brain before shifting your tongue into drive? Have you ever made a commitment to God or man without giving it much consideration and later reneged on it? The communication of the hasty tongue is done too quickly to be thoughtful or wise. God does not want us to be flaky. He expects us to keep our promises. He goes on to explain that we should not try to wiggle out of our commitment by saying it was a mistake. Time and words are two things that, once gone, can never be recovered. We must take time to weigh our words before we release them.” Extra verses for reference: James 3:2, Proverbs 18:13, Ecclesiastes 5:2, James 1:19
Day 5 – The Divisive Tongue
“Divide and conquer is one of Satan’s most effective strategies for hindering the effectiveness of any effort undertaken by two or more people. He knows the power, synergy, and blessings that result when we work in harmony; therefore, he makes every effort to bring division. As you recall the last time you used your tongue as a tool of divisiveness, consider what excuse you used for doing so. Are you ready to repent for this sin? Not only are we to refrain from causing division, we must also become active agents of peace, using our best efforts to reconcile parties in conflict.”
Day 6 – The Argumentative Tongue
“Unlike divisive people, whose actions destroy unity between parties, argumentative people enjoy directly resisting anyone whose viewpoint is different from theirs. Another reason some people resort to quarreling is to bolster their own self-worth. They can only feel good about themselves by attacking the validity of other people’s opinions, philosophies, or beliefs and then maneuvering them into defending their position. One of the challenges for God’s children is to learn to disagree without being disagreeable. We glorify God when we remain loving even when we disagree with the views and values of unbelievers. Surely we have the grace to register our protests without being mean-spirited.”
Day 7 – The Boasting Tongue
“Boasting implies that your good fortune is a result of your own efforts. Have you forgotten that everything you have came from God? We must learn to consciously take the backseat when pride screams for the front row. Whatever Skills or talents God has given to you, they are for His glory. Learn to take praise in stride. If your popularity increases, don’t be intoxicated by the accolades. Remember that praise is like perfume. If you consume it, it will kill you!” I Corinthians 15:10
Day 8 – The Self-Depreciating Tongue
“You engage in self-depreciation when you think or speak of yourself as being of little or no worth and thereby minimize the value of what you “bring to the table” or have to offer. Notice how Satan seeks to take us from one extreme to the other. He tries to make us either boastful or bashful. He tries to make us think we are ‘da bomb’ (really hot stuff) or ‘done bombed’ (totally blew it!). Don’t be ignorant of his tricks. Self-depreciation is often disguised as humility; but in reality, it is a rejection of the Word of God, which assures us that we can do anything through Christ Jesus who strengthens us (Philippians 4:13). We must reject the spirit of inadequacy. Without God, we can do nothing anyway; with Him we can do all things. Because of the reality of His word, we can walk in confidence – not in ourselves – but in the grace of God that empowers us.
Day 9 – The Slandering Tongue
“Slanderers make malicious, false, or even true statements about others with the intent of damaging their reputation, character, or good name. Some people are so insecure and easily threatened that they feel they must cast aspersions on the character of others whom they perceive as ‘the competition’ in order to maintain their position. Since God has secured our destiny and has promised to avenge all wrongs perpetuated against us, why engage in slander? When we attempt to defame others with our denigrating words, we are sowing evil seeds for which we will surely reap the consequences.”
Day 10 – The Gossiping Tongue
“Do you sometimes engage in idle and often malicious talk about the personal affairs of another? Now, I’m certain everyone reading this book has been guilty of partaking of this popular pastime – either as a bearer or a hearer at one time or another. Why are you willing to use the temple of God as a ‘trash receptacle’ by being a receiver of gossip? Refusing to engage in gossip may result in fewer visitors and phone calls; however your impact will be far-reaching.”
Day 11 – The Meddling Tongue
“ ‘Nosey Rosey’ is the label that the people in my hometown placed on those who were always prying into or meddling in the affair of others. If you are prone to natural curiosity, you must make a special effort to keep your inquisitiveness within the bounds of what is socially and spiritually appropriate. If you are indeed a genuine meddler, know that God does not consider your nose-poking a small matter. He classifies this sin – yes, sin – with murder and stealing.” I Peter 4:15
Day 12 – The Betraying Tongue
“Betrayal is a more blatant act than gossip. A gossip may not necessarily harbor any ill will toward his victim; however, a betrayer divulges information in breach of a confidence. Decide today to strive to be a trustworthy person whom others can depend upon to guard their secrets. If you are blessed to have a trustworthy friend, thank God for such a rare jewel.”
Day 13 – The Belittling Tongue
“Do people feel better about themselves after spending time with you? Or are your expectations so high that you focus on their short comings rather than their assets? If someone speaks well of a person you envy, do you follow up with a disparaging remark? Are you so insecure that you can only feel good about yourself be denigrating others?”
Day 14 – The Cynical Tongue
A person who is cynical scorns the motives of others. Cynicism is like venom; it poisons the atmosphere wherever it is present. Resorting to it will also poison your spirit and that of others. It can wreak havoc on any relationship and in any environment. Really begin to observe your comments in various settings and determine if you are being cynical or scornful. Retire from cynicism today.”
Day 15 – The Know-It-All Tongue
“Please allow me to gently remind you that most emotionally healthy people will resent someone who always assumes he knows what is best for them. Married women, take heed! Real men aren’t looking for Mother. Assuming the role of the arrogant expert on almost every topic is a sure indicator of pride, which is repulsive to God and man.”
Day 16 – The Harsh Tongue
“When you really think about it, there is never any justification for being harsh or unkind in our communication. If we claim the God is our Father, we wont practice such behavior either. We will deliberately choose words that are warmhearted, understanding, and sympathetic. As a steward of the grace God has extended to us, we must in turn extend that same grace to others. We must cultivate the habit of speaking kind words especially to those whom we feel may not deserve it – isn’t that what grace is all about? The old saying, ‘sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never harm me’ is totally untrue. Harsh words never die, and they can impact a person for a lifetime.”
Day 17 – The tactless Tongue
“While honesty is indeed the best policy, it is not a license to say whatever we want. One of the most important skills we can develop is the ability to deal with others with sensitivity and to speak inoffensively when we find ourselves in difficult or sometimes problematic situations. The key is to develop a habit of being tactful in every situation. We can review the words in our mind and evaluate their impact. We can then choose to yield to the Holy Spirit’s leading. This practice alone will help us develop the emotional discipline necessary for stifling tactless remarks.”
Day 18 – The Intimidating Tongue
“If you are an intimidator, it is time to get in touch with why you feel you need to gain power or control over others. Many intimidators grew up in chaotic or otherwise negative environments in which they felt powerless to change their circumstances. They vowed they would never allow their lives to be so out of control again, so they seek control. Others are simply a bundle of insecurities and use intimidation as a façade to mask their fears. Whatever the cause, intimidators can never hope to have a meaningful relationship with anyone who is forced into submission.”
Day 19 – The Rude Tongue
“Showing patience is a rare occurrence. Ill-mannered, discourteous communication has become standard practice – even among God’ children. Whatever happened to the Golden Rule? ‘Do unto others as you would have them do to you’. Do unto others? Why, we do not even have time to think about others! We are totally absorbed with our own agendas. Many of us can be counted among the cell phone users who parade around public places talking at the top of their voices as if no one else is present. Know that when you are rude, you have made a very selfish and ungodly decision that your needs or concerns are paramount to all others.”
Day 20 – The Judgmental Tongue
“Judgmental people engage in a critical, fault-finding assessment of another person’s behavior. What is amazing is that they judge others by their actions but judge themselves by their intentions. If someone’s behavior does not reflect a choice or decision we would have made, we judge it as wrong. Jesus based His judgement of people’s behavior on nothing other than God’s standard. This is the only basis from which we can righteously judge. We would do well to focus more on judging ourselves than hunting for specks in the matters of others.”
Day 21 – The self-absorbed Tongue
“Are most of your conversations with others centered on you or your issues? A self-absorbed tongue will surely alienate others as almost everyone desires to be the focus of attention occasionally. Become aware of this character flaw in your communication. Ask God to make you genuinely interested in others. Give everyone you converse with your full attention, and watch your relationships deepen.”
Day 22 – The Cursing Tongue
“Using profane, obscene, or vulgar language is unbecoming to a child of God. Understanding that profanity resides in the heart helps us to reject the idea that a curse word “slipped” out of your mouth. The reality is that it slipped out of the heart. Only God can cleanse a person’s heart. If you are challenged with profanity, ask God to purify your heart and mind. Remember that words are verbal thoughts.”
Day 23 – The Complaining Tongue
“A legitimate complaint can only be resolved if you direct it to the one who can change your situation. If you are a complainer, you must start to resist the constant ‘ain’t it awful’ party. Trust me, others will be glad you did and will stop dreading conversations with you. This is not to say that you shouldn’t seek an occasional sympathetic ear or wise counsel from a valued source. However, if you are going to ignore their advice and continue to rehearse the problem each time you converse, beware. Thy listener shall soon become weary of thee!”
Day 24 – The retaliating Tongue
“There is nothing as easy as verbal retaliation. Of course, the thrill Is only a fleeting pleasure for those who love God; the remorse for succumbing to the sin tends to linger. Try to stay mindful of the fact that when we decide that it is our personal responsibility to avenge the wrongs perpetuated against us, we have crossed the boundary into forbidden territory.” Romans 12:17-19
Day 25 – The Accusing Tongue
“Have you ever charged someone with wrong-doing before you established evidence of his guilt? When you do so, you fall into the same patterns as Satan, the official accuser of God’s children. Has anyone ever accused you falsely? How should you respond to such injustice? Well, the first step is to ask God’s guidance as to whether to proclaim your innocence and the best way to do so. If the lie has affected someone, you might explain to that person that the accusation is simply not true. Know that all lies originate with Satan. Period.”
Day 26 – The Discouraging Tongue
“Think of the people who have encouraged you during your lifetime and what a positive effect their words had on you. In a world plagued with negativity, everyone needs a little encouragement from time to time. Make a conscious effort to always speak sincere words of affirmation, support, and inspiration to those within your circle of concern. If perchance you are confronted by a discourager, do not let him derail your destiny. Very graciously let him know that your eyes are fixed on God, who specializes in doing the impossible.”
Day 27 – The Doubting Tongue
“If we ever hope to tame a doubting tongue, we must become familiar with the promises of God. Words of doubt come out of an unbelieving heart. The more we assert our confidence in a positive outcome, the more our faith increases. Our attitudes and conversations will change when we face the reality that apart from God we can do absolutely nothing. Decide today to skip the skepticism, doubt the doubts, and believe the best!”
Day 28 – The Loquacious Tongue
“Have you ever talked to someone who seemed to have diarrhea of the mouth? On and on she goes, from one topic to another. Well, know from henceforth that the proper word for this malady is ‘loquaciousness’. Its just a big word for a ‘motor mouth’. Whatever the motivation, excessive talking tends to not glorify God.”
Day 29 – The Indiscreet Tongue
“One who is discreet shows prudence and wise self-restraint in speech and behavior – and always reaps a positive consequence. Indiscretion can be costly. Some subject matters should simply be off limits for discussion. You would be wise to never discuss your salary or bonus – especially with other company personnel. Your sex life should also be off limits as an item for discussion with a non-counseling outsider.”
Day 30 – The Silent Tongue
“Talking is absolutely essential to maintaining effective relationships. While keeping one’s mouth shut is a great virtue, effective communication is to a relationship what oxygen is to the body. Silence is not golden when one uses it as a passive, retaliatory means of expressing his anger or displeasure with a situation. Many times we may feel we have been trespassed or wronged, but rather than discussing the issue with the offender, we resort to sulking and pouting. Silence is not golden when it results in us making an undesirable decision by default. After all, silence can indicate consent. Prayer was taken out of public schools in the United States because the majority kept quiet and did not protest. A Japanese proverb states, ‘silent worms dig holes in the walls.’ To keep silent when one should be speaking is a sure way to dig holes in your relationships.”
